Op/Ed

The “lies” have it, aka “You know where liars go”

A column by Karen Henslee

     Liar, liar, pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire.”
     Not a great reputation to have... that of being a liar.
     Remember Aesop’s fable, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf?” Parents around the world read that one to their kids, I’m sure. Warning them that if they did not stop lying, sometime, when they needed it the most, people would assume they were lying again, leaving them powerless when the hungry wolf really came to devour them.
     Did it stop them? Perhaps, but probably not without getting a bite or two taken out of their back sides a few times.
     I’m a bit embarassed to say that of all the current commercials - both superbowl and in-between - the beer commercials always seem to be the most original and humorous. Do you suppose their think tanks are filled with the product they’re promoting?
     There are a few, however, which although they make me laugh a little, are appalling in their promotion of bald-faced lying, in order for the characters to get to do something they want. It’s “taking care of grandma” for the weekend, or allowing your buddy to “vent”, which of course, is a nice promo for a wider-opening beer can. Naturally, we know these commercials are geared at responsible adults, and that they know the difference between truth and falsehood, right?
     When I was a kid, lying was just wrong. I remember well the punishment for lying... soap - to wash that bad stuff right out of my mouth.
     My dad did not make me sit in the bathroom with the entire bar of soap in my mouth (like Ralphie in, A Christmas Story). He simply wet his fingers, rubbed them around on the bar of soap, and then scrubbed the roof of my mouth with the yucky tasting stuff.
     Nowadays, that would be bordering on child abuse, I suppose, but it definitely got my attention. I knew I’d either have to give up lying entirely, or figure out a better way to do it without getting caught. (I didn’t give it up entirely until much later, after my teen years.)
     One of my kids figured out how to avoid trouble, simply by telling me the truth.
     As a student, she had a tendency to be a little more forthcoming than most. A trait that some of her teachers were not prepared to deal with, and they assigned her “sentences”, or some other such appropriate punishment, when she offered her opinion. Or, occasionally she’d get caught with chewing gum. The first thing she’d do when she got home was confess she’d gotten in trouble for “such ‘n such.” There was an occasional call from the school, telling me about the incident, to which I would have to respond that I already was aware of it. (They always seemed surprised). I found it difficult to punish her when she was so quick to acknowledge her wrong-doing.
     Perhaps she should have been a lawyer, (no, of course, that wouldn’t do, she was too honest).
     Several years ago, a Jim Carrey film, “Liar, Liar” was a success, because it revealed the life of a habitual liar (pronounced, “law-yer” by his young son), who, because of his son’s birthday wish, could not tell a lie for a whole day.
     What a concept!
     Perhaps the children of the candidates in the upcoming elections should make the same wish. Then at least we’d know we were basing our choice on truth and not just what they want us to believe.
     Or maybe they need to read, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, again. Just to remember what can happen to liars.