Humor
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Lyle practices putting out fires
Lyle's National Night Out was a huge success last week with the Lyle Park jam packed with residents trying their skills at such challenges as putting...
What to do when the rest of the world is fast asleep
When I was a little boy, my mother would put me to bed for the night and bang—the next thing I knew it was morning. Well, things change a little over the years, and when you get older the eight hour...
Sometimes a suit doesn't suit, but another suit will
This father of the bride wasn’t about to break the bank to replace his gold standard. It all started with a call from my younger daughter, Annette. “Dad!” she yelled into the phone. “I’m...
Misch answers 'What's so funny?'
It’s funny we should talk with David Misch, author of Funny: the Book. Misch is doing a presentation he calls “The History of Ha” in Portland this Monday, Jan. 13, at 7 p.m. at the Mittleman...
Kennedy killed, St. Helens' earlier eruption, Nobel Prizes funded
Nov. 21: 301,000 BC—First time a hominid multi-tasked; he both hunted and gathered. 1922—Rebecca Felton becomes the first female U.S. Senator. 1973—Rosemary Woods “accidental” erasure of 18...
Congress meets for first time in D.C., Sherman begins march
Nov. 13: 1927—The Holland Tunnel opens to connect New York to New Jersey. It is the first U.S. underground automobile route. 1946—Vincent J. Schaefer produces the first artificial snow over Mt....
Lincoln becomes first third-party president, Butch and Sundance die
Nov. 6: 1860—Lincoln becomes the first and only third-party candidate to be elected president. 1908—Robert Leroy Parker (Butch Cassidy) and Harry Alonzo Longabaugh (the Sundance Kid) are...
Stock market crashes, Statue of Liberty dedicated, first match
Which are real?... Oct. 23: 1994—Floyd “Floyd” Hinterbock is the first teenager to say something “sucks.” The term came from trumpet jazz musicians—a good horn player was said to...
Columbus doesn't find Asia, first female astronaut walks in space
Which are real?... Oct. 9: 999—Leif Ericson crosses the Atlantic and discovers “Vinland.” Some Time in the Past: The lyricist for “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” decides to substitute the vowels...
Mt. Rushmore started, Washington heads to Valley Forge
Which are real?... Oct. 2: 1957—The Yankees play in their 25th World Series. Born: Gordon Sumner a/k/a Sting (1951). Died: Rock Hudson (1985). National Sarcastic Month. Today’s Word: Butt—a...
Lewis and Clark return, 'Yes, there is a Santa'
Which are real?... Sept. 18: 1848—The rules of baseball change so a first baseman can tag the base for an out instead of having to tag the runner. 1851—The New York Times prints its first issue...
9/11, minimum wage hits $1, Mayflower lands
Which are real?... Sept. 11: This is a big day in war history. 1941 –FDR orders any German, Italian, or Japanese ship in U.S. waters to be shot on sight. 2001—Hijacked passenger jets are used to c...
Israel-PLO accord, Lincoln on fools
Which is real and which isn’t?... Sept. 4: 2012 BC—Babylonian parents become concerned with the amount of time their children spend playing stone tablet games. 1781—In California, El Pueblo de...
Vesuvius erupts, Republic of Franklin, Mona Lisa stolen
Which are real?... Aug. 21: 1427—Citing poor working conditions, guardian angels go on 40-day strike, leaving humanity to fend for its self. 1841—The venetian blind is patented by John Hampton....
VJ Day, women's right to vote, Columbus sails
Which are real?... Aug. 13: 1913—Harry Brearly invents stainless steel. 2012—Thousands flock to Mayberry, N.C., in white linen suits and straw hats to celebrate Otis Campbell Day. Born: Phoebe...
Nixon nominated, original Tea Party platform
Which are real?... July 24: 1851—Britain abolishes the window tax as a result of intense lobbying by Windex. 1974—The Supreme Court tells Nixon to surrender the Watergate tapes. Born: Ruth Buzzi...
First paper money, Reagan accepts nomination
Which are real?... July 17: 1861—At the urging of wallet makers and money clip manufacturers, Congress authorizes the printing of paper money. 1935—Variety publishes an article about how rural inh...
'Go west,' NYC blackout, San Diego founded
Which are real?... July 10: 1934—FDR visits Colombia and becomes the first sitting president to visit South America. 1962—The first communications satellite, Telstar, is launched. Born: The...
Christmas becomes federal holiday, first electric stove
Which ones are real?... June 26: 1870—The U.S. declares Christmas a federal holiday. 1959—The Great Lakes welcome ocean-going ships with the opening of the Saint Lawrence Seaway. Born: László L...
First typewriter, G.I. Bill of Rights, Yankees
Which ones are real?... June 19: 1464—Frances’ postal service is formed by King Louis XI, who immediately cancels Saturday deliveries. 1778—Washington’s soldiers depart Valley Forge....
D-Day, Bill of Rights, draft begins in WWI
June 5: 1917—The draft for World War I begins, and 10 million US men begin to register. 2012—Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker survives a recall election. 2013—U.S. prison system substitutes...
Jamestown starts, Jell-O bombs, first jukebox
May 22: 1843—The Great Migration begins when settlers and even more cattle leave Independence, Mo., on the Oregon Trail. Upon reaching the territory they see a sign stating, “Please Visit But...
Shoes for both feet, Mount St. Helen's, Spam
May 15: 53,032 BC—Tribesman Nacho discovers the only way to stop a bad Cro-Magnon with a rock is a good Cro-Magnon with a rock. 1817—The Asylum for the Relief of Persons Deprived of the Use of...
