The Goldendale Sentinel - Headlines & History since 1879

By Dick Schuller
Homespun Yarns 

What to do when the rest of the world is fast asleep


When I was a little boy, my mother would put me to bed for the night and bang—the next thing I knew it was morning. Well, things change a little over the years, and when you get older the eight hours of desired sleep may well be broken up into spans of sleepiness.

Perhaps you drop off to sleep and in your hibernation you wake up and look at the clock. No, it isn’t morning as you had hoped. It’s 1:30 a.m.! Grrrr. You lay there quietly, waiting for that sweet repose that you desire, but it doesn’t come. The clock says you’ve been trying to get back to sleep for a half an hour.

You comfort yourself with the thought that although you are not sleeping, you are nonetheless resting. Small help! You try all the tricks in fooling yourself that you are now ready to drift off. You fluff the pillow again, snuggle down comfortable in a sleep mode… but nothing happens.

The neighbor’s dog is yapping away, so you turn on the radio for some pleasant white noise. But every few minutes the pesky radio announcer speaks and startles you just as you were drifting off.

You snap the radio off, and filter through your mind all the things you ate yesterday. Is one of them guilty of your not sleeping? Did I eat too much pizza last night? After the clock shows that you’ve been thrashing around in bed for an hour, you take the big step… you get up.

Naturally you head for the kitchen and a suitable snack for this ungainly hour. The refrigerator doesn’t offer too many choices. There are some cold pork chops, left over pizza and some greasy soup. You reject these items as unsuitable for a 2:30 a.m. snack that will settle you down.

Next you investigate the canned stuff. There are a lot of losers at this hour, such as chili, lima beans and crushed pineapple. You grab your favorite breakfast cereal, from the top shelf and dig in. As you pour a goodly amount of milk in the bowl, you know that all this liquid is going to wake you up in a few hours for a trip to the bathroom.

Back in bed you reflect on some of the sleep aids you’ve used in the past. Yep, they zonk you out but you feel like a zombie in the morning. And you can’t take them more than two weeks.

After nearly two hours trying to read, you get up again and do something significant. You take out a pad of paper and write about not being able to sleep. Grrrrrrrrr.


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