Which are real?...

July 17: 1861—At the urging of wallet makers and money clip manufacturers, Congress authorizes the printing of paper money. 1935—Variety publishes an article about how rural inhabitants dislike Hollywood’s depiction of their lives in rural areas. The entertainment newspaper’s headline is “Sticks Nix Hick Pix.” 1980—Ronald Reagan accepts the GOP’s presidential nomination. 2236—Archaeologists discover homes made of straw, wood, and brick near the skeletal remains of three pigs. Veterinary pathologists conclude the pigs were actually mid-sized rather than little. Born: Pat McCormick (1934). Died: Billie Holiday (1959). Yellow Pig Day. Today’s Word: Keelivine—a lead pencil.

July 18: 1743—In more newspaper history, the New York Weekly Journal publishes the first half-page newspaper ad. 1864—Lincoln asks for 500,000 men to join the military voluntarily. 2011—A severe dust storm, known as a haboob, strikes Phoenix. 2012—San Bernardino, Calif., declares bankruptcy. Born: Mark Sinclair Vincent a/k/a Vin Diesel. Died: Jane Austen (1817). National Caviar Day. Today’s Word: Odorivector—an odorous substance. See Little Brother.

July 19: 1553—After being named Queen of England in the will of Edward VI, 15-year-old Lady Jane Grey is deposed after her nine-day rule. 1832—Ben Longhorn becomes the first cowboy to say “giddy up.” 1984—Geraldine Ferraro gets the VP nomination by the Democratic Party. 1990—The Richard Nixon Library opens in Yorba Linda, Calif. Born with a great tan: George Hamilton (1937). Died: Joe “What McHale? What”? What? What?” Flynn (1974). Potato Day. Today’s Phrase: Smatter Hauling—Victorian era label for handkerchief thieves.

July 20: 1801—A 1,235 pound cheese ball is pressed by dairy farmer, Elisha Brown, Jr. 1921—Breyers Ice Cream trademarks its name. 1969—Neil Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin became the first men to walk on the moon. Born: Errett Lobban Cord, manufacturer of the Cord and Duesenberg automobiles (1894. Died: The inventor of the radio, Guglielmo Marconi (1937). Lasagna Awareness Month. Today’s Word: Acaudate—without a tail.

July 21: 1773—The Society of Jesus (Jesuits) is dissolved by Pope Clement XIV as “an administrative move” for the peace of the church. The Order is restored in 1814. 1925—John T. Scopes is fined $100 for teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution at a school in Dayton, Tenn., after the famous “Monkey Trial.” Born: Don Knotts (1924). Died: Robert Young (1998). National Junk Food Day. Today’s Word: Galimatias—nonsense, ridiculous and incoherent.

July 22: 1789—The French Revolution begins after the fall of Bastille. 1832—The U.S. government exempts opium from a federal tariff duty. 1974—AL manager Billy Martin becomes the first in the league to have the ump eject him from play in two games in one day. Born: Albert Brooks (1947). Died: Carl Sandburg (1967). Ratcatchers Day. Today’s Word: Eugeria—a normal, happy old age.

July 23: 1952—In Egypt, Colonel Gamal Abdal Nasser’s Society of Free Officers seize control of the government by a coup d’état. 1964—LBJ begins the War on Poverty, requesting $962,000 from Congress to improve literacy, drug rehabilitation, and employment programs. Not exactly successful. 1976—4,000 delegates from the Pennsylvania American Legion meet in Philadelphia for a four-day gathering. Many become sick shortly afterwards and eventually 22 die from what is now called Legionnaires Disease. 1995—British Petroleum, or BP, agrees to pay Alaska $20M in back taxes on top of an earlier settlement of $650M in back taxes. BP ad campaign stating how they employed thousands of accountants and lawyers for the benefit of the Alaskan economy bombs. Born: Monica Lewinsky (1973). Died: Amy Winehouse (2011). National Vanilla Ice Cream Day. Today’s Word: Recrudescence—revival.