Happy October, Goldendale. It is another beautiful day, and I plan to enjoy it. How about you?

The reason I’ve waited so long to put in another article is I’ve been waiting for Halloween. It’s pretty close now. I want to talk about some of the issues I have with this certain holiday. I’ll go over these topics: stress, clichés, and how hard it is to find originality in costumes. Let’s begin, shall we?

OK, let’s talk about stress. It’s ridiculous. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Halloween. It’s just, all the stress sort of takes the fun out of it for me, I guess. I don’t want to think about getting the most candy, being all toasty and warm while still achieving a costume feel, and having a better costume than everyone, or about finding a needle in my apple. I want there to be a holiday that is absolutely stress free, you know? But next to Christmas, Halloween is the most stressful holiday in the world. Trust me, I Googled it. It’s funny. Holidays were supposed to be for relaxation, originally. But now they’re one of the top causes of stress and depression. I Googled that, too. From what I’ve learned, and I hope this is correct, nobody likes stress. People, don’t let it get to you.

Now let’s talk about the classic cliché, “I’m too old for Halloween.” Now, let me get this straight. People of all ages, including all the grams and gramps, all across the nation celebrate it, and now you are old? You must acknowledge that you truly will only be young once, and we are just gliding through time. The moment you read that sentence, the moment is gone, and so are the rest of the ones before that. Yes, it is sad, but it is also true. I have this to say to all of you who don’t care about originality: stuff your face with candy when you get it for free.

Speaking of originality, finding Halloween costumes is extremely difficult. I mean, dressing up as one of the Beatles is pretty darn original. But that has already been taken, and not many people are that creative. And in terms of little kids, the originality level is at zero. Unicorns, kittens, and all sorts of other things are what wander around under my head during Halloween. If a loving mother lost sight of her little munchkin for a second, trying to find her would be like finding that zebra you saw in . . . um, a bunch of zebras. But let’s not go off subject. We’re talking about costumes. If you want an easy to see costume for your little tot, don’t look up costumes for kids. You do realize that that’s where everybody else will go, right?

So, the long and short of this amazing article are: Stress is stressful and don’t let it get to you, clichés are stupid (especially when they involve age), and costume originality is awesome!