The Goldendale Sentinel - Headlines & History since 1879

By Lou Marzeles

Moron alert: imbecile defaces campaign sign in act of stupidity


Someone in Goldendale is planning to go as a moron for Halloween.

You’ll be able to spot him instantly. His knuckles will be dragging on the ground. He’ll have a distant, foggy look on his face of a person with a shoe-size IQ. He’ll communicate haltingly with indecipherable grunts through the three teeth in his head. He’ll have breath so bad the hospital uses him to breathe on patients if they run out of anesthesia. And he’ll have a can of spray paint in his hand because he likes to deface signs of political candidates with hate messages.

Oh dear. We hope we haven’t offended the morons’ union. Oh, wait. They can’t read. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.

So most people around town are aware that there is indeed an imbecile in question—well, heck, there might have been more than one, though towns our size are only supposed to be allocated only one moron and one village idiot—who went and defaced a campaign sign for Andy Halm, running for city council. We won’t distinguish the dolt’s message by repeating it here. It was only three letters and doubtlessly taxed the person(s)’s vocabularly to the breaking point. But he did get the letters in the right order, if there is such a thing in a hate messsage.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Reprehensible is too mild a term, meaning as it does something worthy of criticism. This was an act of mindless, kneejerk malignancy. Have any opinion you want about a person as a political candidate or about his or lifestyle; everyone’s opinion is free to be expressed. But not when it extends to the unreasonable and the vitriolic. Hate crimes are not protected under the First Amendment.

Andy’s voting record on the city council displeases a lot of people, especially his support of marijuana sales in the city. His was one of only two votes on the council in favor of it. But there is no amount of displeasure with a candidate that warrants this kind of behavior. Andy gets to deserve respect and dignity as a human by sheer simple virtue of his being human.

So, for the morons out there (we know you don’t read newspapers or anything without bright pictures in it, but maybe word will get to you): knock it off. If you don’t like the man’s politics, write a letter to the editor (you can hire someone to write it for you with your meth sales money). Have a temper tantrum and kick your stubby little legs. Call in to the talk show at the Westboro Baptist Church; you’ll be asked to join.

Now, we understand that morons are people, too, or close to it. It’s not you as a subhuman we’re addressing here. It’s your stupity and hatred, a common and dangerous combination.

But know that this community will not abide messages of hatred directed at any person for any reason.


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