The Goldendale Sentinel - Headlines & History since 1879

By Brendan Relaford
For The Sentinel 

Mt. Adams purchased to house data farm


Sentinel exclusive

The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) and the U. S. Forest Service (USFS) recently announced that they have agreed to sell Mt. Adams for an undisclosed sum to a newly formed corporation, a subsidiary partnership between Microsoft and Amazon. The revenue is needed to replace money pulled from the Department of Defense (DOD) budget to build a wall along the southern border of the U. S.

According to Howie R. Dewing, spokesman for the partnership, the plan is to create a large data farm that will give the company room to expand as well as cross-utilize harvested personal data from their respective subscribers. “Since Adams has not erupted in more than 1,000 years,” says Dewing, “we consider it an ideal location for a data farm. The deal is multilayered and includes naming rights. “Adams isn’t a word people equate with our brand,” Dewing adds. “So we will be looking to rename the mountain at some point.”

The project will be completed in three phases. In phase one, the plan is to excavate the southwest flank of the volcano, then pave the burned-over forest land adjacent to the project to provide better access and parking. In phase two, the focus will be on security, including building a steel fence between 19 and 26 feet high around the farm. The focus of phase three will be on constructing a heliport to accommodate 24-hour-a-day air traffic to and from the site.

The new partnership, which has been named Microzon, expects work to begin on April 1, 2020. Klickitat County is poised to reap some benefits from the project, as preliminary job-creation estimates indicate that the company may be able to employ up to five part-time employees.

Breaking news: Microzon has just been purchased by Japanese megacorporation Okidoki Enterprises. (You may remember their tagline: “It’s not just good—it’s Okidoki.”) A spokesperson for Okidoki emphasized there is no significance to the fact that all the transactions described herein are scheduled to occur on April 1.

—With additional reporting on Okidoki by Lou Marzeles.


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